Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Grammarian


  Grammarian usually has little to contribute to a discussion and possesses few effective weapons. To compensate, he will point out minor errors in spelling and grammar. Because of Grammarian's obvious weakness most Warriors ignore him.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Saturday, November 7, 2020

The Advent of Godzilla

It was a peaceful and productive forum; lively, congenial and a bounteous source of useful information. Then one day, completely without warning, Godzilla arose from the depths and blew his scalding breath on everything in his path.
 A phalanx of Warriors mobilized to attack the monster, only to be crushed like so many toy tanks under Godzilla's mighty feet. Godzilla soon reduced the forum to searing and consuming flames. Just as abruptly, he rumbled back beneath the waves, leaving all to tremble in fear of his return.
 Net life would never be the same. Sadly, many netizens who survive a Godzilla attack will become Xenophobes.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

GodFather

Forums often contain one or more unacknowledged sub-societies, but everyone except the most clueless know that these groups exist and constantly feel their influence. Such alliances congeal because of similarities in ideas and attitudes, or for the desire for power and influence within the forum. Since human beings are hierarchical creatures each of these these little mafias always have a Godfather who is surrounded by a cadre of loyal henchmen. Unlike Rebel Leader, Issues, Furious Typer and other noisy Warriors, Godfather only occasionally deigns to enter into discussions, but when he does everyone listens to him respectfully and his pronouncements have an air of finality. Though Godfather himself never engages in battle, it is commonly understood that his utterances should not be challenged, and when an unsuspecting Newbie or ambitious wannabe mounts a challenge to his authority Godfather’s henchmen viciously silence or drive away the attacker.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Saturday, October 31, 2020

He's Called A God

In the beginning, before bandwidth, there was nothingness. Out of that endless void God and His heavenly host created... A planet, and it was good. But the scientific, military and computer angels Who dwelled in Arpanet were lonely, so They brought forth Browser, and the Web was born. It, too, was good and the children of the internet lived in peace and harmony and were fruitful and multiplied, but God warned His people not to eat of the forbidden fruit of commercialism. Alas, they disobeyed and soon barbarians drove the children of the internet out of Paradise. God, in His wrath, turned away from His people and condemned them to wander in the digital wilderness, but from time to time He will suddenly appear in mailing lists, chat rooms and discussion forums to remind us sinners that we could be saved if only we would hearken unto Him.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Friday, October 23, 2020

Meet Furious Typer

  Furious Typer’s combat strategy is to drown her adversary in a tsunami of angry verbiage. She is absolutely immune to subtlty and ignores all but the barest essentials of any argument.
 After briefly appraising the gist of her opponent’s counter attack she puts her head down and rapidly fires off long rambling messages replete with grammatical and factual errors. The typical Furious Typer lacks endurance, however, and if the other combatants can weather the initial assault she will quickly exhaust herself and retire from the field.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Saturday, October 17, 2020

The Fragile Femme

Fragile Femme is very needy and insecure and regards the discussion forum as her personal support group, and will lash out when her feelings are not "validated" by the others. 
  Fragile Femme will often refer to the forum participants as her "family" and becomes distraught at disharmony of any kind. She regards a minor disagreement with her as devastating personal assaults and will often dissolve into hysteria when confronted. Her hyperactive sense of injury renders her fighting tactics fairly ineffective, but Innocence Abused, Cyber Sisters or Weenie will often spring to her defense.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Friday, October 9, 2020

The Thick Skull of Ferrous Cranus

Ferrous Cranus is utterly impervious to reason, persuasion and new ideas, and when engaged in battle he will not yield an inch in his position regardless of its hopelessness.   Though his thrusts are decisively repulsed, his arguments crushed in every detail and his defenses demolished beyond repair he will remount the same attack again and again with only the slightest variation in tactics.
 Sometimes out of pure frustration Philosopher will try to explain to him the failed logistics of his situation, or Therapist will attempt to penetrate the psychological origins of his obduracy, but, ever unfathomable, Ferrous Cranus cannot be moved.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Monday, October 5, 2020

The Fanboy

Though annoying and often disruptive, Fanboy is a relatively harmless Warrior because his interests and knowledge are strictly limited a single obsession. 
 He's fixated on a particular video game, a celebrity, a television show, a sports team, – almost anything, really. Fanboy’s compulsion makes him very easy to identify, but it also arms him with supernatural tenacity.
 The most benign criticism of his beloved immediately provokes a cascade of virulent abuse. Once alerted to Fanboy's sensitivities Evil Clown, Troller and Jerk will goad him mercilessly.
 CAUTION: ANYONE can become a Fanboy, but the warning signs of an emerging Fanboy are subtle and easily overlooked. For example, are you a little hasty to defend Linux?




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Thursday, October 1, 2020

Meet Evil Clown

Evil Clown is very quick with a joke, but his jests always have a barb. He has little patience for in-depth discussions and will often disrupt exchanges between serious forum participants by introducing irrelevant topics, fatuous quips, and offhand comments. His greatest thrill is to taunt and humiliate weaker or more plodding Warriors with his snappy ripostes. Not a particularly powerful Warrior, Evil Clown will attempt to avoid defeat by accusing his attacker of having no sense of humor.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Any Ents Left Around?


In bygone days Ents roamed an internet paradise of purposeful forums, but in recent times Ents have grown quiet. Indeed, Ents are so rarely heard from these days that netizens have begun to doubt that they ever existed. Being privy to the secrets of the ancients Ents are an extremely powerful Warriors, and are all the more so because of the veneration in which they are held. Warriors who chop and burn an Ent in battle will not earn glory, but will instead incite the enmity of the entire forum.



from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

It's Pronounced "ahn WEE'"

en·nui     /änˈwÄ“/
noun
a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.
"he succumbed to ennui and despair"
 Ennui only rouses himself from his torpor to cajole other Warriors to be more interesting - without, of course, ever contributing anything of interest himself. Ennui has limited weaponry at his disposal, but his majestic affectation of boredom provides an effective defense to attacks. When pressed in battle he will announce his intention of moving on to a more stimulating forum, but instead he will generally lurk quietly until the threat passes.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Saturday, September 19, 2020

The Enfant Provacateur


 Enfant Provocateur likes to stir up trouble because...because, well...just because. This species of Flame Warrior is almost always young and male - it could be just a hormone thing.





from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

The Ego Has Landed

  For Ego, the discussion forum is all about him, and he regards discussions that stray from that topic as trivial dalliances. Although tolerant of an occasional shift in focus, Ego grows increasingly restive when the forum's attention shifts away from his interests, and he will often provoke conflict to reestablish himself as the subject at hand. Ego is one the the fiercest of all the Warriors and will fight to the death when attacked.





from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Friday, September 11, 2020

Our Eagle Scout

Eagle Scout is a positive, constructive Warrior who endeavors to submit original articles which contain useful content and relevant information with supporting citations and links, thus initiating meaningful discussion threads. Eagle Scout regards the internet as an uplifting, egalitarian, worldwide arena for the exchange of ideas among intelligent, thinking individuals. He does not openly attack, but will (ever tactfully) chastise disruptive comments, gratuitous insults and cretinous insipidity. He is always kind and helpful to Newbie, and will shrug off even the most egregious insults. Eagle Scout is loathed with a poisonous intensity by Evil Clown,, Enfant Provocateur and Ego.
CAUTION: Sometimes Imposter,   Evil Clown or Troller will masquerade as Eagle Scout. There have also been reports of Eagle Scout becoming Jekyl and Hyde.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Monday, September 7, 2020

The Duelists

  In a perpetual personal feud, Duelists generally don't menace anyone but each other, unless, of course, another Warrior foolishly gets between them. They may not even remember what started the fight, but not they cordially loathe one another and seize every to go at each other. When the other Warriors eventually weary of their endless kvetching the Duelists will be shouted down or Nanny will ban them. Even after getting the heave-ho from one forum, however, it is not unusual for them to seeking each other in other forums to renew their fight.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Thursday, September 3, 2020

The Diplomat (in training)

Diplomat butts into hot disputes, presuming that the combatants will welcome and appreciate his even-handed and eminently reasonable mediation. Frankly, he gets what he deserves.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Sunday, August 30, 2020

The Deacon of the Board

  Be he a Baptist, Scientologist or Zoroastrian, in the heat of battle Deacon will call down Divine retribution on all net sinners, and will never miss an opportunity to blather endlessly about his religion. Deacon is fervent and earnest, but seldom contributes anything of interest or substance to the discussion. Occasionally Tireless Rebutter or Philosopher will rouse themselves engage Deacon in battle, but they soon lose interest because of his utter predictability.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

The Cyber Sisters

  Cyber Sisters are an extremely fierce confederation of fighting females who act something like a shrill Greek chorus, echoing and amplifying one another's voice until their foes retreat in disarray. They are generally leaderless, but anyone who challenges one Cyber Sister can expect to be savagely attacked by the others. Only the most powerful and battle-hardened of Warriors is strong enough to weather a Cyber Sisters attack.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Saturday, August 22, 2020

The Crybaby

 Although sometimes a male, Crybaby is usually a female, and often a close ally of Innocence Abused. When teased or attacked Crybaby will pitch a loud public temper tantrum, holding her breath and kicking her feet. If that defense fails she will run to Nanny for comfort.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Social Media Compost

 A weak Warrior with few weapons at his disposal, Compost flings expletives and vulgarities to keep his opponent at bay. This tactical maneuver can occasionally rout especially sensitive combatants, such as Innocence Abused, but it is generally ineffective against more powerful Warriors. Nanny has little stomach for Compost's ordure and will quickly ban him from the forum.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Friday, August 14, 2020

It's A Coffee Klatch

 For Coffee Klatch the discussion forum is a social gathering - like Mah Jong or Wednesday morning canasta club. Coffee Klatch prefers a friendly, chatty environment and almost always limits her participation to non-technical forums. Whether inadvertently or by design, Coffee Klatch prepares the battlefield in her favor by making it soggy with pleasant, but vapid messages - her favorite phrase often being, "thanks for sharing". This renders the battlefield rather slow going for swifter and more powerful Warriors.
 CAUTION: If war does break out she will shed her benign facade and attack mired Warriors without remorse.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Monday, August 10, 2020

the Social Media Centurion

  Centurion tries to gain tactical advantage in battle by asserting that he is, or was at one time, in the military. He affects the brusque demeanor and clipped style of a drill sergeant, and intimidates opponents by sprinkling his messages with military verbiage and obscure acronyms. He reinforces weak arguments by constantly reminding other Warriors that he has “done his duty”, or “served his country”. Sometimes Centurion may even post pictures of military hardware or images of himself in fatigues brandishing a weapon. Centurion may actually have a military background, or he may just be a nut case - no one really knows. Centurion loathes and is loathed by Weenie, Artiste and Fragile Femme. His natural ally is Troglodyte.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Thursday, August 6, 2020

The Capitalista

  Capitalista is not always a wealthy fat cat; being a Capitalista is a state of mind rather than a reflection of affluence. A strident and extraordinarily self–satisfied Warrior, Capitalista takes every opportunity to extol the superiority of the free enterprise system and has a powerful aversion to the welfare states of Europe. Capitalista fiercely defends the market economy, bludgeoning “fuzzy-minded socialists” with Adam Smith, Milton Friedman and Friedrich Hayek. Though rather limited in his range of interests, Capitalista’s command of carefully selected historical facts, abstruse statistical comparisons and arcane economic theory make him a formidable foe.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Putting Up With Bong

 Is it just you or does this 'Bong' guy seem to babble on and on without making any sense whatsoever? Does he lurch from one non sequitur to another? Are you baffled by his obscure metaphors? Are there so many typos you think that maybe he was typing while wearing a catcher's mitt? Can he really MEAN what he just said? What in the hell is hey talking about, anyway? Is this guy smoking something? Well, yes...in fact he is, and lightly tethered in orbit high above the Earth Bong remains far beyond the grasp of the even the most powerful of Warriors.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

The Blowhard

  Blowhard feels the need to present his credentials before entering the fray - even if they are irrelevant to the discussion. For example, in a movie forum conflict he might attempt to settle the matter by saying, "As a Ph. D. candidate in particle physics I believe I can say with some authority that the 'Beavis and Butthead' movie represents the emergence of a new cultural paradigm." Huh?




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Friday, July 24, 2020

The Bliss Ninny

  Bliss Ninny doesn't understand why people just can't get along. While it is entirely unintentional, Bliss Ninny's utterly vacuous comments can drive the more pugnacious Warriors into a frenzy of aggression. Often in the heat of battle Bliss Ninny will discuss her cat.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Monday, July 20, 2020

Big Dog & Me Too

-Big Dog & Me Too. Big Dog is a bully who doesn't hesitate to use his superior strength to intimidate other combatants. Big Dog may be smart, articulate or just plain mean, but in any case he is a remorseless fighter, brutally ripping into even the weakest of combatants. Once Big Dog securely fastens his powerful jaws on a hapless victim, Me-Too will join the attack. Me-Too is far too weak and insecure to engage in single combat, and must ally himself with Big Dog or a pack of other Warriors to bring down his quarry.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Thursday, July 16, 2020

Big Cat Is Here

 Big Cat would rather not fight...he enjoys peacefully observing forum conversations and laconically participates when the moods strikes. He playfully chases interesting threads, and from time to time uses a Newbie or Propellerhead as a convenient scratching post. He enjoys being stroked or petted, and tends to purr loudly. CAUTION: Don't be fooled by his fuzzy, playful exterior. When provoked, Big Cat reacts with lightning speed and almost always lands on his feet after an attack. Big Cat often indulges himself by toying with his victim before delivering his lethal blows.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Sunday, July 12, 2020

And Then There's the Athiest

 Atheist is Deacon's cyber-doppelganger. Deacon and Atheist hold equally fervent, though diametrically opposed beliefs about religion, and both feel compelled to share those beliefs at every possible opportunity. Should an unsuspecting forum member make even a passing comment about faith or spirituality of any flavor, Atheist will descend like one of the Furies, mercilessly hectoring all of the ignorant and delusional believers about the sordid history of the church and the pernicious effects of religion on society. After a few of Atheist’s anti-religious jeremiads most other Warriors will avoid the subject altogether, though Evil Clown may egg him on a little, and Philosopher may amuse himself by pointing out flaws in his reasoning. If a forum has the misfortune of having both Deacon and Atheist as members, the bickering often continues until Nanny or Admin pulls the plug. Bliss Ninny can also sometimes squelch the conversation by saying, “Well, everyone has a right to their [sic] opinion.”




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

The Artiste Has Arrived

 Artiste has an unshakeable faith in his own artistic gifts, and is very pleased to share them with everyone else. Frequently his own insipid poetry will appear in his email signature, and at other times, and to no apparent purpose, he will be overcome with the urge to post a poem in the midst of battle. Artiste, in his need to demonstrate his aesthetic sensitivity and cultural sophistication, will reference obscure artists to drive his point home. He assumes that the mere mention of, say, Pollaiuolo (Italian,1431 –1498), will confirm the breadth of knowledge and thereby cow his opponent in battle. Actually, he is universally regarded as a pretentious blockhead.
 CAUTION: Artiste often has serious mental problems and, though easily defeated in battle, may be unpredictable in defeat as well as in victory.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Saturday, July 4, 2020

The Artful Dodger

 Artful Dodger is a nimble and elusive Warrior. When strongly attacked he changes the subject with a diversionary counterattack. For example, if in a moment of pique his opponent refers to him to him as a "sonofabitch", Artful Dodger will not only demand a public apology for the insult to his own mother, but will castigate his opponent on behalf all mothers everywhere. Knowing full well that staying on topic works to his disadvantage, Artful Dodger will not allow himself to be pinned down.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Have You Met Archivist?

 Archivist saves and squirrels away each and every discussion forum message. Do you remember having a bad day back in 1996 when in one of your messages you may have said a few things that were...well, perhaps a little...hasty? Don't worry, Archivist still has it and will post it to the forum if you begin to get the upper hand in battle. Archivist can be a very effective and fearsome Warrior.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Friday, June 26, 2020

Andriod Is A Real Person

 Android doesn't anger, nor does he engage in actual combat, rather he will merely point out the logical inconsistencies of other Warriors. Irony and sarcasm are completely lost on Android, and being impossible to insult or injure in any way, he is invulnerable to conventional attack. If, for example, someone were to call him a pinhead, he would get out a tape measure and after finding that his cranium falls within normal size specifications Android would dismiss the comment as erroneous. Android's circuits are not equipped to process ambiguous or aesthetic input, consequently any extensive discussion involving personal feelings, intuition, art and metaphorical allusions will quickly drive Android from the field of battle.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Monday, June 22, 2020

Meet ALLCAPS

 ALLCAPS attempts to compensate for his limited rhetorical weaponry through the extravagant use of capitalized words - something netizens refer to as SHOUTING. Sure, a sprinkling of capitalized words can add some zip to a thrust, but they should be used sparingly. Even worse from a tactical point of view, too much shouting alerts other Warriors to the opponent's verbal WEAKNESS and emotional EXCITABILITY.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Friday, June 19, 2020

Meet Agent

  Agent is a sinister and elusive opponent who never goes into battle alone. Agent generally uses standard combat techniques, but differs from other Warriors in that he is secretly in the employ of an organization that has a direct interest in the forum's main topic.
  The organization may be political, commercial, or even criminal, and it’s Agent’s job to post messages that advance the organization's interests. For example, several Agents who have been hired to promote a new theater production will invade theater discussion forums, and while energetically plumping for their own production, they will pick fights, spread malicious gossip and post fraudulent reviews about competing productions. Some Agents are benign shills, while others are malicious crusaders. Agents typically use hit and run tactics to avoid detection, but sometimes they can be outed by alert forum members who have seen them in other forums.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Monday, June 15, 2020

Meet the Admin

 Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, Nanny on steroids. 
 Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky. Sometimes his efforts are appreciated, but like any authority figure he is also resented - especially by Jerk, Evil Clown, Enfant Provocateur, Ego, Rebel Without a Clue, Yuk Yuk, Troller, and other Warriors who would like to turn the forum into their personal playground.
 Most Admins are generally fair and even handed, but the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely is as true on the internet as it is anywhere else, and it is a rare Admin who can resist bringing the hammer down if seriously pressed by a determined foe. Sycophant and other suckups will also attach themselves to a strong Admin to form a defensive perimeter around him, and more often than not Admin's enemies will be driven off without him ever having to brandish his ax. 
CAUTION: Admin is the most powerful of all Warriors and drawing him into direct battle invites almost certain defeat. Rebel Leader does pose a limited threat to Admin's power by fomenting a revolt and causing forum members to jump ship.




from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Meet The One We Call Acne

 Acne constantly whines about how, like... his life and everything really sucks and stuff. Usually a middle class teenager with an allowance, unlimited access to a computer and WAY too much time on his hands. Acne's vague existential arguments about the meaningless of life and emptiness of existence are culled from the lyrics of the 20 gigs of MP3s he has squirreled away on his hard drive.


from Sooner Politics.org - New Media Guide